Many of our older clients are being taken care of by their spouse, or by one or more of their adult children or another family member. The older person of course appreciates the help, and the caregiver feels gratified in their role. The caregiver may also feel extremely guilty if they don not help. The care often takes place in the older person’s home or in the home of a child. Also, spouses and children will at times spend nights in their loved one’s care facility to help with the care.
But, being a caregiver for an older person can be a 24 hour a day, seven days a week job. And, the work can be exhausting. We receive calls all the time from family members or from spouses, who tell us that they can’t do it any more. I remember when my brother and I were trying to take care of our elderly father. My brother and I finally got to the point where we could barely pick our Dad up to help maneuver him to the bathroom. Toileting issues were difficult for everybody. Our Dad also would not cooperate with taking his medications, and there were other problems. My brother and I finally decided that we did not have the requisite skills to properly care for our Dad any longer, but we suffered with the guilt associated with making this decision. I do remember being amazed however, when we hired an experienced in-home care giver for our Dad, how the care giver, because of his training, could easily move our father around.
If you find yourself in the caregiver role, please keep in mind that your own health can suffer as the result of helping your loved one. How many times have we heard of the well spouse passing away from exhaustion caused by her helping her ill spouse? Please give yourself a break. Call other family members and friends to help you. You can utilize adult care services, where you take your loved one to spend several hours during the day. You can also hire a caregiver, and there are many fine agencies in the area who have qualified people who can help you.
Please feel free to contact us if you have questions along these lines, as we may have suggestions for help you can receive within the elder care community
At the Law Offices of Michael J. Young in Walnut Creek, for many years now, we have helped clients and their families with questions such as these. We also continue to help seniors keep what they have earned. We do this through the preparation of asset protection plans, long term care plans, revocable living trusts, powers of attorney and wills, and assistance with applications for Medi-Cal and the VA Aid and attendance Pension Benefit.
Written Michael J. Young, elder law attorney, Medi-Cal attorney, senior law attorney and probate attorney in Walnut Creek, CA and former in-house counsel for title insurance companies. He is Medi-Cal attorney and is VA Certified. www.WalnutCreekElderLaw.com LawYoung1@Gmail.com 1931 San Miguel Dr., Suite 220, Walnut Creek, CA 94596. 925-256-0298. Mr. Young serves Contra Costa and Alameda Counties, including the cities of Walnut Creek, Alamo, Danville, Concord, Brentwood, Pleasant Hill, Antioch, Clayton, etc. Mr. Young advises clients regarding Probates, Probates with Real Estate, Medi-Cal, nursing homes, asset protection, the VA Aid and attendance pension benefit, and long term care planning. Mr. Young is an Elder Law Attorney and Probate Attorney with offices in Walnut Creek, CA. Walnut Creek Elder Law Attorney, Walnut Creek Probate Attorney. Senior Law Attorney